Breastfeeding for Dummies… i.e. Me.

This is a chronicle of the (mis)adventures and mishaps of my milk making. Blah.

Right now, as I write this blog, I find myself on the floor of my bedroom, in the not quite middle of the night (10 pm), but to my exhausted and beaten body it feels like 3, pumping for my life – or should I say my tiny angel. Breastfeeding moms this one is for you, you’ll definitely feel me.

Now, as I was saying, I’m here in the floor – trying to be as quiet as possible, the entire house is fast asleep – even the two huskies – who snore lazily and look up at me as I reach for the lanolin, take a yawn that eerily sounds like “poor sucker” and go right back to sleep. I’m trying to be incognito because I promise if that baby wakes up, it’s just about enough to send me right over the edge. So shhhhhhhh…. please and thank you. Save your applause ’til the end.

Here’s what I’ve been trying to do. I’ve been trying to get a surplus of milk. And while some of you reading this may have a freezer chock full of Medela storage bags – well that’s not my story. You take your excess 300 ounces and shove ’em. (Do I sound bitter? It’s probably because I am…and jealous. Excuse me, it’s the middle of the night. Be nice to your milk bags. I’m sure they are very nice people.) I barely have 30 extra ounces. And that’s from like 2 weeks of pumping. That’s right, only that much. So moms out there that loooooove to give advice, both solicited and un-, this is your chance. Tell me what to do. Please.

I’ve read all the blogs. Tried all the tricks, looking at her, looking at pictures, holding a blanket to smell (at this point I might as well hold a diaper full of yellow seeds – if you get my drift), feeding her right after pumping, feeding her before pumping and waiting no time, 30 minutes, an hour… still… beans. I’m on the more milk supplements. I’m drinking the lactation tea, and if I see ONE MORE oatmeal cylinder, I’m going to vomit. (I hate oatmeal.) If I drink any more water I’m gonna have to come and pee at your house. It’s not working.

True, every now and again I might get a good haul. Then I think excited, “it’s working.” Then the next time… beans. Giant F word. Back to the drawing board I go. I know, I know. I have to stick with it. But between working for a living (my household is a two-income household), blogging for a living, taking care of the baby before, during (yes, I said during), and after work, trying to pump and get healthy food in me. Forget about it. You want me to shower and comb my hair too??? You’re asking too much. What’s the secret? I really, really need to know. Can I please get invited to the surplus milk supply club? It’s important.

Not for nothing though, there are a couple of things that I have tried that I can appreciate. So even though my supply isn’t where I want it to be, they definitely make the struggle more convenient.

  1. Willow Breast Pump – Shout out to the moms at Willow who knew the importance of being able to be mobile and pump at the same time. I know that there’s that bra that you can wear that lets you be “hands free,” but this little gem let’s me be hands free, plug free and whatever else free that I need to be. Imagine me going to celebrate someone’s birthday and excusing myself to the restroom for a quick install and right back to the group to keep the party going.fullsizerender-6
  2. Hakaa Silicone Pump – I call it the “Boob Sucker.” This little contraption let’s me pump on one boob while Aria snacks on the other. Never miss a let down. On a good day I can get about 2 ounces on it. Mostly I get about a half ounce. But I’ll take what I can get. Beggars can’t choosers.
  3. Oatmeal Raisin Cookies – Didn’t I say I hate oatmeal. There’s something about the texture that I can’t get with, so these cookies are a lifesaver. To spice it up I add white chocolate chips, cranberries, and toffee bits. I even throw in a little flaxseed meal for good measure… you know to help with the milk. They are soooo good. So if I must eat oatmeal, this is the way.bac496dc-037f-4e32-a965-c3e81b5cd193
  4. Fenugreek – These pills definitely help, but aren’t a silver bullet for me. I did take some moringa but those darn things dried me up so I had to kick those to the curb and get back to the ‘greek.acf8d4a8-d562-4d91-adb5-8289482e2508

Other than that, I don’t know what else to do. Like I said, I’m soliciting advice. So gimme what ya got. I’ll keep you posted on how things turn out.

xoxo